Distracted Mind

Last week’s stupid kitchen trick never quite made it. It’s been an interesting month ’round the homefront, and, without any excuses, let me just say that I’m nearly out of stupid kitchen tricks. Readers, if you have any that you’d like to share, I’d love to hear them and give your your proper credit. I’ll try anything once and I only write things I’ve tried, so you may even get me to do something strange in my kitchen.

Now, for this week’s kitchen trick. I’m not going to use my husband’s suggestion of extolling the virtues of combining bleach and ammonia (I told you I was going to blog that), but instead I’ll let you know about something a little less toxic and a lot more useful: thickening gravy.

Now this applies to sauces as well, but lumpy gravy is the source of so many jokes that it’s just another sad little groan at the table. Making an unlumpy gravy or sauce is actually fairly simple and will allow you to pimp slap Uncle Harry at the next Thanksgiving dinner when he starts in about lumpiness. Of course, it will be talked about for years, but there’s nothing more satisfying than a holiday pimp-slap, now is there?

On to the lack of lumps. Very simple. Take a small bowl and put a bit of corn starch, flour, or a combination of the two (I’ve found that the combo does the best for gravy). Then gradually ladle in a bit of the base of your gravy/sauce. If this is gravy, use the drippings. If it’s a sauce… use the friggin’ sauce. Whisk the sauce to mix while you’re adding the liquid until it’s completely mixed in, no lumps. Then add the mixture back into your gravy/sauce, stirring until the gravy/sauce is thickened.

There you go. Gravy sans lumps and a generous holiday pimp-slap for anyone who says otherwise.

_Edited to correct D’s recommendation–it was bleach and *ammonia*, not bleach and water._
_Big fat precautionary note: do not, I repeat DO NOT, combine bleach and ammonia. It creates mustard gas and inhaling mustard gas is a very unpleasant way to die. Trust me on this one._

Yeah, so this whole business of people popping out babies makes for a busy weekend. I’ve been down in Columbus, where I have had the pleasure of holding one tiny niece and running around like crazy (when I haven’t had food poisoning… but that’s a different story). This weekend’s stupid kitchen trick is late, so I’ll try and make it a good one.

Next time you need to thicken a sauce, you have a few options. You can use flour, which is an old standby that I end up using (mainly because I forget where I’ve put the other options… or I’ve run out), corn starch, or if you need to thicken something that’s particularly touchy, say something that requires a lower temperature, use arrowroot powder instead.

Arrowroot powder thickens sauces at lower temperatures and tolerates freezing better than sauces thickened with cornstarch. It also tastes a bit more neutal, so the flavor of your sauce stays a little truer. One quick note: don’t use it with dairy sauces — it makes them somewhat “slimy” in texture (not a ringing endorsement, but if you stick to fruit-based or wine-based sauces it’s awesome).

It’s been a jumbled up sort of day. Maybe I’ll actually write about it… once I scoop my brains back into my skull I just might. For now, a stupid kitchen trick for a hopelessy smelly Friday.

To take some of that onion smell out of your hands after chopping and slicing, rub your hands on something steel under some running water. If you’ve got a stainless steel sink, give it a friendly rub. The steel actually takes the smell away. If you _don’t_ have a stainless steel sink, you can always get a bar of stainless steel soap. It sounds strange, but these bars actually look kind of cool.

I don’t know all of the science behind this, but [someone else has an idea of how this trick works](http://chemistry.allinfoabout.com/features/steelodor.html). It won’t remove _all_ of the most heinous odors, but it will help with onion or garlic stenches when you’re doing some scratch cooking.

I’m a big fan of Arm & Hammer. It’s an admiration that was bred into me by my mother, who uses the stuff with an almost spiritual fervor. If you read my other post about baking soda, you’ll know a cleaning kitchen trick, but there’s another _extremely_ good use for the stuff.

We all know about baking soda’s almost magical odor absorbing ability, but there’s one other way that baking soda combats funk (and not the Parliament kind). If you’ve ever spent time in the company of a chili fanatic, or a picnic with baked beans, you’ll know the type of funk I’m talking about. There’s a reason why they’re called the musical fruit — beans will heat up a room faster than a Coleman stove. I’m talking about more gas than Saturn’s rings.

So how, exactly, does baking soda help with a wicked case of chili wind? Add it to the food. That’s right, as you’re cooking your chili, baked beans, refritos or whatever the legume recipe your heart desires, add a quarter teaspoon of baking soda. Not enough to be tasted, but just enough to do the magic. It will cut down on the after-dinner wind symphony, I promise.

Now that I’ve run out of polite euphemisms for farting, I leave you with your stupid kitchen trick of the week. Remember it when you’re entering that chili cook-off. We’ll all be grateful.

It’s not Friday, but I wanted to write this before I forgot. I was reminded by Andy, a commenter over at [Brewed Fresh Daily](http://www.brewedfreshdaily.com/2005/09/18/a-pinch-of-sea-salt-in-coffee/#comment-5152) about coffee’s remarkable compatibility with beef. Read the comment for a chuckle.

I discovered that coffee makes a wonderful companion for beef when I was making one of my midwinter concoctions out of beef roast, caramelized onions, and potatoes (not for the low carb dieter). Use a large skillet and some olive oil to braise the beef with the onions (braising it before putting it in the oven makes it juicier because it seals the outside of the meat), then add around a half to three quarters of a cup (the actual measuring cup) of coffee, a few dashes of dark balsamic vinegar, some sea salt, and some garlic. Then, when you’re ready to put it in the oven, rub it with just a little more sea salt and some ground pepper. It’ll taste better than deli roast beef which, depending on the deli, could be saying a lot or not much at all.

Roast for the normal amount of time, adding the potatoes or whatever veggie you like. This makes some wonderful comfort food.

Thanks to Andy, for the reminder.

Lots of us use baking soda in our refrigerators to combat the stench of those blossoming mold-farms growing on last month’s potato salad that’s _still there,_ forgotten in the back of the ‘fridge. Some of us buy laundry detergent with baking soda in it, hoping that it will make our work-out clothes smell better. Many even buy toothpaste with baking soda in it because it does such a great job polishing our teeth. Occasionally we even use it in baking.

Baking soda has so many uses that it’s hard to find one more. It’s marketed in so many different ways, included in other products, and used so much. I know of another way to use it, one that actually saves a little bit of cash, some muscle energy, and doesn’t bring yet another toxic chemical into the house. I’ll elaborate with a story.
Read the rest of this entry »

Some (ok, most) things taste better fresh. This includes herbs, but not every herb grows well indoors and not everyone is up to trying indoor gardening. To keep fresh herbs on hand in the winter, freeze them. Use ice cube trays, stuff appropriate amounts of the herb you want into each cube, fill with water and freeze. Then, when the cubes are frozen, put them into labeled plastic bags to store in the freezer. When you need a teaspoon of oregano, toss a cube into the pan and watch it melt into fresh oregano. This also works well for any recipe calling for mint.