Distracted Mind

Yesterday, during one of the brief moments where I felt well enough to get off my posterior and _do_ something, my husband and I were bandying about the idea of Batman in Cleveland. It started off as a joke, and then got the “I’m _so_ going to blog this, you know that, right?” We started talking, as only comic book geeks can, about whether or not Bruce Wayne (Batman, for those of you uninitiated to the comic books, cartoons or movies) would _ever_ live in Cleveland.

Sure, there’s plenty Bruce and his Dark Knight alter ego could do here: we’ve got the industrial thing going for us, not to mention biotechnology and plenty of opportunities for charity and non-profit work, so Bruce can make his money (maybe) and throw galas for good. He could put his industrial complexes out in Independence with the other industrial complexes. Just think — he’d bring more jobs to Cleveland than that Quicken guy! We’ve also got plenty of crime and not enough cops, so Batman would have ample activity anytime he wanted it. But it’s not just about the accommodations, it’s also about the city.

For one thing, where the heck would Batman live? Probably not out in the suburbs, since that’s a little too bourgeois for Gotham’s (_ahem_ Cleaveland’s) most eligible bachelor. Would he renovate one of our crumbling warehouses to create an opulent, post-modern loft/mansion? Or would he opt for one of our historic homes, building his own Bat Cave underneath to hide his secret identity? I just don’t know, since part of it hinges on which era of Batman we’re talking about. Personally, I think that [Frank Miller's Dark Knight](http://www.darkknight.ca/storylines/tdkr.html) would go for the loft/mansion renovation.

Also, _why_ would Batman move to Cleveland? Gotham has it’s share of problems, but how do we rank? If you look at the Plain Dealer, it’s not like we’re doing _that_ bad, right? I mean, it’s not like we’ve got people stealing metal siding to make a few bucks, right? Oh… wait…. I mean, really — we’ve got plenty of problems as a city, but wouldn’t Bruce rather go somewhere warmer? Maybe not. I mean, the Bruce Wayne of [Batman Begins](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0372784/) went to the high, snowy mountains of Tibet to hone his skills, find himself and make an enemy of Liam Neeson. Compared to Tibet, we’re downright tropical! Plus, we’ve got that Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, right? That makes us cool, right? _Right?_

The question remains: would Batman believe in Cleveland? I’m not sure. The comic book geek in me says no, but only because he’s got his connections to Gotham: revenge for his parents and his deep love for a crooked city. That doesn’t mean we don’t need his help, but maybe we need our own version of this superhero — a caped crusader for Cleveland.